REALIZE-KNOW THYSELF

  • December 10, 2019
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“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be?”

― Marianne Williamson, A Return to Love: Reflections on the Principles of “A Course in Miracles”

“Who am I”

Almost all of human knowledge has been the product of attempts to answer this fundamental question. While philosophy, psychology, religion, politics and sociology have tackled it head on, mathematics, economics and all the sciences have tried to understand you and I stand relation to the universe but at the end of the day, the human self is the site of all wonder, curiosity and investigation. Not surprisingly, the question, “Who am I”, resounds through Mahatman and this is where I offer several ways of arriving at the answer.

The third pillar of Great Wisdom is all about sharpening your mental faculties and bolstering your psychological heft so that you achieve complete Self-Actualization and reach the goal of Greatness. But how are you going to do this unless you know who you really are, unless you know yourself fully – your own strengths, skills, aptitude, interests, potential and areas that need work. The human brain is wonderfully adept at conjuring excuses, fiction and fantasy that can work a web of self-delusion. “Of all the liars in the world, sometimes the worst are our own fears”, said the Nobel Prize winning writer, Rudyard Kipling. Your own mind can convince you that your goals are nothing but pipe dreams or it can lull you to remain satisfied with an easy sense of well-being. Worse still it can hold you back with the phantasmagorical chains of fear and insecurity or can poison your relationships with darts of jealousy and hatred.

To achieve Great Wisdom, it is necessary to break such bonds of self-deception and self-delusion. Instead work hard to know yourself and be prepared to face facts, no matter how unpleasant they are and most importantly rise up with determination to act upon whatever the exercise of Self-Awareness and Self-Realization uncover so that you can move on from Enlightenment to Self-Actualization. In the rest of this chapter I will be dealing with Realize on four levels – physical, emotional, functional and spiritual.

"Know yourself on the Physical level"

There was a time in history not too long ago when physical characteristics of humans were related to psychological traits as well. The best known of these approaches was theorized by William Sheldon in mid-twentieth century. According to him the Endomorph body time was soft, fat and round body and indicated a sociable and relaxed personality. The Ectomorph was tall, thin and flat chested and indicated shy, reserved and self-conscious personalities. The Mesomorph type was well built and muscular and made for physically active, noisy, adventurous, athletic personalities. Sheldon even extended this classification system to explain delinquent behaviour, finding that delinquents were likely to be high in mesomorphy and low in ectomorphy and arguing that mesomorphy’s associated temperaments (active and aggressive but lacking sensitivity and inhibition) tended to cause delinquency and criminal behaviour.

Needless to say such theories of personality based on physical traits were criticized, not just because it was hardly representative but because it had the potential feed stereotypes and to justify the worst of racial, gender, class and other kinds of discrimination based on physiology.

Why I mention this here is to emphasize that colour, complexion, body type and weight are externals. They do not determine character or personality. So do not believe theories that tell you what you can and cannot do on the basis of your physical traits. There was a time when women were called the weaker sex and even the Olympic Games in 1932 did not allow women athletes to compete in a maximum of three events. But Babe Didrikson Zaharias won five events in the Olympic Games trials the same year. Similarly Mistly Copeland broke racial stereotypes to become America’s first African origin woman to be promoted to principal dancer in American Ballet Theatre’s 75-year history.

The human body is indeed one of Nature’s miracles – the extent of coordination and balance that goes into seamless functioning of the physiological systems is mindboggling. Did you know that you have an almost entirely new skeleton every 10 years? Or that the surface area of the average adult lung – comprised of around 480 million alveoli – could cover half a tennis court? Your body is a treasure trove of such and many more incredible precious secrets.

So, how do you get to know more about your body?

Finding out your body type, BMI and all that is not my focus here. Like I said, you can be any body type, size, and colour and yet be able to do and achieve anything in the world, provided you treat it with care and respect. Instead, in the journey towards Mahatman, it is more important to know your body so that you can care for it and fulfil its potential. So I am going to outline a few ways that will get you started on the journey towards self-realization on the physical level.

  • Begin by looking at your body – long and lovingly. Every day the media fires a barrage of images of reed thin models at us daily from multiple platforms not just so that you buy the products and services from those companies; the other purpose is to feed a constant anxiety in you about how you look and what it says about you, your relationships, and your career and so on. To counteract this sustained campaign of making you feel awful about your body size, type and complexion, practice looking at yourself in the mirror with love and affection. This also figures part of your Self-Love regimen, more of which will be discussed in the Energize section.
  • Nurture it right – The Great Health pillar of Mahatman talks about all the foods that will help your body function at its optimum. Just as you should feed it with the right nutrients, it is equally important not to abuse it with any kind of addiction, harm or mutilation. The famous yoga expert BKS Iyengar has crystallized in words what is believed in many cultures,

“The body is your temple; Keep it pure and clean for the soul to reside in”

  • Listen to your body – The more you follow health promoting practices, the clearer will your body’s message to you become. You will learn what works for your body and what doesn’t. For example the circadian rhythm influences your sleep patterns – some people, the ‘larks’ who rise with the sun and believe that they work better early in the morning while some consider themselves ‘owls’ and believe that they are able to do their most productive work late at night. Nevertheless it is a fact that circadian rhythms change with age and new research published in Harvard journal even says that your genes may have a role to play in determining your sleep habits. Similarly fine-tune the skill of receiving messages that your body may be sending to you explicitly or implicitly. The more you work together with your body as a team, the more energy and power it will lavish you with.
  • Move it – You are already aware – from the Great Health pillar – of the need to practice some kind of physical activity or other. Stretching and sweating gets the blood flowing besides building your muscles and core strength – leading to a fitter and more attractive you. But another benefit of moving is to know where you need to work more on your body. If you unable to do more than five push ups, your upper body needs to be stronger or if you start huffing after running barely a kilometre, you have to increase your stamina. Often the inability to do moderate exercise is the first sign that something might be wrong with your body or its systems. Again being aware of your body movements will help you spot poor body language and take steps to improve it. For example slouching and leg shaking are not only unseemly but indicate lack of confidence and anxiety.
  • Make it beautiful – You may or may not enjoy keeping up with fashion trends of the season but dressing up your body to enhance its full aesthetic potential is a more fundamental motivation. Practice the essentials of self-grooming and spend a little to spruce it up. After all the benefits of personal grooming so much beyond an attractive appearance – the boost it gives to your self-confidence and the spark that it lights in your relationships is invaluable. Other ways you can lavish this sort of care upon your body by dressing right, looking bright and perhaps even making a personal style statement like a trendy tattoo. Sylvia Plath once quipped, “If the body is a temple, then tattoos are its stained glass windows”!
  • Ask about it – Knowing about the different parts of your body and its functions is really the starting point to unleash its immense power. More so because certain cultures prohibit frank, clear-sighted discussions on sexuality and physicality. So ask if you have questions about your body – rather than succumbing to negligence or worse, misinformation by all means look for answers from a professional or trusted family and friend.

"Know yourself at the emotional level"

One of the myths about the human mind that came crashing down in the beginning of the twentieth century was that of human beings as rational beings, driven by conscious and logical thinking. Psychologists beginning with Freud instead unveiled the hidden bubbling cauldron of the subconscious which makes people often act irrationally and emotionally. Emotions are thus one of the basic filters with which you view and interact with the world. If you know your own emotional makeup, you can acquire crucial insight into how you interact with others, your strengths and weaknesses during such interactions. The effective way to deal with emotions is not really to push them out of your conscious mind or react immediately when your buttons are pushed. Instead it is all about strengthening those areas where you feel most vulnerable and maximizing your assets. Getting to know yourself emotionally will help you master and negotiate your emotions to achieve a stronger mental life and more effective relationships.

Following are 4 basic emotional profiles:

  • The thinker – As soon as you are confronted with a decision or even a new situation, do you first weigh its pros and cons? Do you like to approach the world rationally, according to a plan and prefer to structure your day? Perhaps you find it difficult to go with the flow and be guided by your feelings. These are some of the most common traits of the thinker type who prefers to negotiate the world through analysis and evaluation. This does not imply that you feel any less acutely or are emotionally repressed – just that you may find it more difficult to express them spontaneously. For you, logic and analysis are better guides to decisions than feelings. Try to practice mindfulness exercises to ease the knot of concentration within you. Be more aware of your sensory perceptions to bring your mind and body into better alignment. And every once in a while – throw caution to the wind and decide to go with the flow.
  • The rock – Are you the strong and dependable type who is emotionally understanding but listens better than expresses. If so, you may find yourself acting as the proverbial shoulder for friends, colleagues and family when they feel stressed. Though this makes you highly valued, you may at times feel being taken for granted. So even as you welcome loved ones in your life, learn to express your own needs and voice your preference. Now and then be more proactive in work, relationships and socializing – reach out for what you want rather than wait for it to be given to you.
  • The sponge – Do you feel yourself responding deeply to the pain and sufferings of others? Images of people, animals and other creatures in distress, even on the pages of a newspaper, are at times enough to make you miserable for the entire day. If yes, you might be the empathetic type who feels and indeed even absorbs the emotions of others. While this makes you highly sensitive and deeply attuned to the needs of others, it also poses the danger of emotional exhaustion. Practice self-care more often and if necessary, distance yourself from external influences for certain periods.
  • The faucet – You just need a comment, question or event to pour out your feelings in full flow to whoever is around you. Sharing what is in your heart comes naturally to you and you believe it is much better to unburden yourself of difficult emotions than holding them in. This keeps you strongly grounded to your emotional self but on the flip side can make you lose sight of personal boundaries and lead to a tendency to overshare. To overcome this pitfall, develop your own inner resources. Practice breathing exercises to balance your emotions and find your own centre of calmness.

"Know yourself on a functional level"

How do you interact with the world around you? Are you good in a crisis, or do you provoke them? Are you aware of what stresses you and what your fundamental values are? What types of people clearly like and dislike you? Are you open to new experiences or like to stick to time and tested methods? Do you like to structure your day or just go with the flow and see what it brings? All these are different ways of functioning in your day to day life that includes people and situations. Knowing your own functional or behavioural traits is a powerful way of optimizing your innate tendencies and identifying those areas where you need to work on.

Modern psychological tests have emerged as popular tools for self-realization on the functional level. One of the most frequently used is the Johari Window for building self-awareness. Self-Awareness can be understood as accurate appraisal and understanding of own abilities and preferences as well as their implications for own behaviour and their impact on others. It imparts knowledge about the self, your strengths and weaknesses, vulnerabilities and passions, idiosyncrasies and conventionality. In 1955 Joseph Luft and Harrington Ingham conceptualized a square with four parts: known only to self, known to self and others, known only to others and known to none. Each of these squares was to be filled up from a list of 56 adjectives like bold, logical, tense, and witty and so on. The exercise was intended to develop self-awareness in an individual in a group context so that he or she not only recognized traits in the self but also discovered what others thought of him or her.

Personality tests like those designed by Isabel Myers and Catherine Briggs are also widely used to know oneself on the functional level. Known as the Briggs-Myers test, this take four essential ways of functioning like extroversion/introversion; thinking/feeling; judging/perceiving; sensing/intuition and then comes up with sixteen combinations, one from each of these four ways of functioning. Extroversion/introversion determines whether you are outwardly or inwardly focused; Sensing/Intuition determines how you take in information – from sensory details or prefer to focus on interconnections, ideas and abstractions; Thinking/Feeling determines whether you use logic and reason or subjective values and feelings to take decisions; Judging/Perceiving determines how you live your outer life, by structure and method or just going with the flow. So if the test results show you are ESFJ it means you are Extroverted, Sensing, Feeling and Judging; in other words you are friendly, reliable, conscientious, organized and practical; you seek to help others and you enjoy being active and productive. Similarly if the tests reveal your type to be INTP you are intellectual, reserved but also flexible and imaginative; you are one of the original thinkers who enjoy speculation and creative problem solving.

There are many other ways of building Self-Awareness. Be open to new situations; explore new tasks, activities and groups and you never know which hitherto hidden aspect of yourself might come to light. Invite feedback from others – this is not to say you should get bogged down by what people have to say about you but when they do, listen carefully. Learn to discriminate between constructive feedback and plain poisonous words with no other intention but to hurt you. If you prise apart the thoughts behind the genuine feedback, chances are you will stumble upon certain areas of yourself which still need work. Most importantly be objective to people and situations. If you approach every event and interaction charged with subjective feelings, you will never be able to find out certain truths about yourself. Practice self-reflection like journaling, deep breathing and so on. All this will clear the blockages in self-communication channel so that you will be able to talk to and hear your thoughts, emotions, compulsions more clearly. You will be more mindful of your values, priorities and the real goals of your life. This form of self-contemplation is crucial to knowing yourself fully so that you can attain Self-Realization.

No matter which method or technique you use to build self-awareness, this is one of the essential steps towards getting to know yourself on a behavioural level. To find out who you really are and where you belong in the family, organisation, and community are important steps in the path of self-realization. You learn to be self-accepting, realistic and resilient. At the same time you realize how you can best contribute to others. More importantly you can better achieve control over your own thoughts and actions, hence behaviour. Following awareness, you build on your strengths, improve on other areas and have a plan for interacting with the world.  Armed with this knowledge about your unique way of functioning, you can proceed on the path of realizing yourself fully.

"Knowing yourself on the spiritual level"

While self-awareness on the physical, emotional and functional level arms you with self-knowledge, you can only reach the goal of Self-Realization by completing your inner spiritual journey. For this it becomes important to understand the true nature of Soul and indeed before that, the true nature of body, mind and consciousness. In my book Elements of the Soul, I discuss at length all these concepts and more.

To begin with, the body, mind and consciousness are different kinds of phenomena, connected in various ways.  They do not exist as separate entities but as a single bundle of “body-mind-consciousness”. We can understand SOUL as this bunch of phenomena of body, mind, and consciousness. What’s more, each is constantly in flux and hence the bundle that makes up the SOUL is constantly changing too.   Just as the elements of hydrogen and oxygen interact with each other and generate water, there are 121 types of consciousness, 52 mental elements, and 28 material elements which interact with each other and generate the phenomena of SOUL.

You might quibble that “I do not recognize my inner self as made up of three distinct process – I feel it as a single entity which I call the soul”. Let me point out that this is an illusion since the extreme rapidity with which the three phenomena arise and cease together – in other words, the quick fluidity with which the SOUL arises and ceases – creates this illusion of the Self, this illusion of the I or you. Understand clearly that it is this illusion which is the manifestation of ignorance and it manifests as the EGO. And because your EGO is rooted in illusion and ignorance, it is also the cause of all pain, suffering, imperfections, and dissatisfaction. The EGO is not only extremely destructive but also very subtle and most personal.  The intimacy with which EGO exists in you is what makes it practically unidentifiable as evil and your biggest barrier to self-realization.

But before we learn how to conquer the EGO, it is necessary to understand the nature of your body, mind and consciousness in the most fundamental sense. Only then will you be able to reach spiritual realization. Start with the practice of self-contemplation. Use mindfulness techniques outlined in Elements of the Soul to contemplate and understand the body as made up of the five fundamental elements: earth, water, fire, air and space elements. Understand how these elements give your body the qualities of solidity, fluidity, warmth, moving breath and hollowness respectively. Realize that these qualities of your body cannot be altered on will though you distinctly feel them. And herein lies the difference between feeling and perception.

In Elements of Soul, I show that Feeling and Perception are two distinct mental phenomena. The mind is made up of the element of Feeling. In the state of true mindfulness, you will realize that “I am now aware that it is this element of feeling (and not ‘I’ as a separate self) that provides the mind its ability to feel. On the other hand the phenomenon of interpretation or perceiving is the element of ‘Perception.’  Similarly volition or willingness to do something is another important mental phenomenon which drives our motivation to act and improve.

Once you have contemplated and understood the real qualities of body and mind, move on to contemplation of your consciousness. No matter how it has been interpreted in religion and other philosophy, I tell you today that consciousness is nothing but experiential ‘knowingness.’  It is the ‘cognition’ acquired by experiencing the world. So what you think as your ‘self’, this ‘I-ness’ is really none other than the “deluded-consciousness.”   The moment you have reached the awareness of body as just body (and not ‘my body’), the awareness of mind as mind (and not ‘my mind’), that is the moment you have achieved pure-consciousness!  It is simply the consciousness which is conscious that it is consciousness!

Let me repeat this again, if for no other reason than the sheer enormity of the concept. Once you have attained pure consciousness, you are truly aware that the body-mind-consciousness is just a bundle of phenomena and that there is no ‘I’ or ‘self’ in it; in other words there is no EGO.  It is in this state of egolessness, you reach a state of soul awareness.  In this state you REALIZE that there is no self, no person, no being, no fixed entity and most importantly no personal creator that exists in this world. There is only the SOUL – an impersonal phenomenon of body-mind-consciousness –a realization that marks your Enlightenment.

An important corollary of SOUL awareness is recognizing the difference between causation and correlation. First let us take the Causation or Creation. In this universe, there are conditions and then there are states generated by those conditions. The conditions are a cause and the states generated by those conditions are a fruit or an effect. Let us take a most obvious example. Every individual who is born into this world has to die. To put it in another way, because there is birth of this body, there is its aging and death.  In this relationship, birth is the cause for death.  Aging and death are the fruit of birth.  So it follows that there would have been no death if there was no birth. This is an example of the law of causation that is unconditional and supreme.

Such reality is termed as the ultimate law of universe.  The Law of Creation/Causation is therefore one of the ultimate laws of universe. There is no belief, superstition or ritual that can do away with aging and death for a being who takes birth into this world. But it is common to find self-styled gurus and religion promote such false practices on the basis of correlation which they unscrupulously claim and people mistakenly understand as causation. For you to reach enlightenment, it is imperative to reject such correlation that manifests as superstitions and rituals and understand the reality of causation. Once you are able to eradicate these beliefs, superstition and suspicion, your views will be purified. You will develop the higher intelligence which will awaken your mind and make it ready for Enlightenment.

Conclusion

This chapter covered all the ways you can be aware of, understand and hence realize the various levels of your existence – physical, emotional, functional and spiritual. But the journey of Mahatman doesn’t end here. Self-Realization is just about preparing the ground for your rise towards Self-Actualization while Enlightenment is really the foundation for what you are meant to achieve – Mahatman or Greatness!

 

Summary:

  • Use Great Health and other practices to know and nurture your body
  • Find out your emotional type so that you can manage your feelings and emotions better
  • Learn how you function in the world so that you can optimize your advantages and know where you need work
  • Understand the true nature of consciousness so that you can move in your spiritual journey towards Self-Realization and Enlightenment.

 

William Sheldon: The Varieties of Human Physique (1940) and The Varieties of Temperament (1942).

http://healthysleep.med.harvard.edu/healthy/science/variations/individual-variation-genetics